Are You Working for a Living?

I often speak on relationships. Sometimes I specifically talk about marriage relationships. A lot of people who know me ask me about marriage relationships because my husband and I have been happily married for just under two decades – despite not having kids within two cultures (mine - Southern & his - Middle Eastern) that place a high emphasis on having kids. [A common joke is that the day after the honeymoon, people start asking the girl if she is pregnant yet . . . if they wait that long.]

Anyone who knows either me or my husband will testify that I work, hard. I am the worker-bee. I have taken on that role. [My husband and I travel a lot for work, separately, and while distance "may make the heart grow fonder," it also makes the "connection grow weaker" unless you work at it.] 

Before I entered law school, I made the conscious decision that, despite the massive workload and stress of law school, my marriage came first. [Law school and the legal field have one of the highest, if not the highest, divorce rate.] That did not mean I slacked on my studies, but rather, that I was clear on my priorities and had very clear expectation discussions with my husband.

                                                                              

Do Women Even Know What Rape Is?

Dr. Phil had a couple on his show where the man had “trapped” his wife into marriage by getting her pregnant. That is not my interpretation; the show was actually about people, men and women, who “trapped” their partners with pregnancy.

The man did not believe he could keep the girl, so while they were dating he got her drunk and coxed her into having sex without birth control, both of them knowing she was within her ovulation time. She did get pregnant and they did get married.

Would Outlawing Guns Be Enough?

I grew up around guns. In Arkansas, my grandparents and parents were avid hunters. My grandmother was a “Hunter’s Widow.” Every November my grandmother would pack food for my grandfather and he would leave for deer season, usually at least two weeks at a time. His CB Radio name was “EightPoint” because he had shot an eight-point deer and had the antlers hanging in his living room. He hunted during other seasons throughout the year too.

We had guns in the house, in a large unlocked gun case, but my parents constantly reminded us that the guns were never to be touched. We never did touch them without our parents present. We knew better. [My parents instilled a very strong belief in us about their punishment in general.]

From a young age, my family would take us out to the woods to target practice. I remember the shotgun was heavy and I often got bruises on my shoulder from the “kick.”  The pistol was better, but still heavy.

The Clash of the "Rules"

A while back I was at the hospital with a young pregnant couple [just the woman was pregnant, not the husband].  She was pregnant with twins, not identical. Her pregnancy was very high-risk for several medical reasons, including a tear in her uterus causing her amniotic fluid to leak. She was on bed-rest most of the pregnancy.

At 26 weeks, the doctors performed an emergency C-section in an attempt to save the babies. They each weighed about one pound and both were on every life-support machine imaginable. Both had under-developed brains and lungs. One had brain bleeding. Both had jaundice, in addition to many other medical issues.

Several doctors were on rotation at the hospital as well as the primary doctor - and each had an opinion of the current situation and the potential outcomes. None of the opinions were the same. One doctor was adamant that at least one of the twins would not survive and firmly believed both would be faced with extreme developmental problem – mental and physical. On the opposite end was a doctor who simply said he had seen children in similar condition radically improve and others in better condition worsen. The majority of the doctors were somewhere in between. All within just a few hours of the births.

What Did You Learn In School Today?

The school “zero tolerance” discipline policy has gotten out of hand. I have been watching it the last few years and am constantly astounded by who gets suspended and for what. 

[Disclaimer: I know there are many teachers who give their very soul to their job and, in general, I am not talking about teachers so much as policy makers and administrators practicing excessive “zero tolerance” policies.]

The policy, though effective in reducing administrative entanglements and time investment, does nothing to contribute to the positive development of our children.  It does, however, encourage “failure to use a brain,” massive abuse of authority complex, and hiding bias behind policy - not to mention teaches our children to feel, and accept, injustice.

I doubt people even know how the policy began, and for what reason, much less how it has evolved.

I remember when it first started. I was in high school.

Sometimes kids fought at school and the administration would question them about who started it - who threw the first punch. The child that threw the first punch would be suspended.