Friday, January 29, 2016

Is It Really All About You?

Attitude is everything. It really and truly is.

Sometimes we go to the store, for example, and the cashier is not friendly to us - maybe even rude. How you respond outwardly, but more importantly inwardly, reflects both your own self-esteem and your attitude.

Many times people assume the rudeness is personal. The cashier did not like them or something about them. While occasionally that might be true, usually the cashier is having a struggle completely separate from the situation (e.g. distracted, bad day, rude customers all day, management problems, personal problems, health problems, etc.).

If we always assume it is "not about us," we can not only deflect the negative energy pointed our way [that could very well ruin our own day], but can, potentially, change the attitude, or even the entire day, for the cashier.

Even if it is personal, our attitude can have the same effect.

Either way, it is a win-win for us and probably others.

If you encounter rudeness, try to just assume it is "not about you," and either respond positively or do not react at all. Assuming it has nothing to do with you first, will totally change how you feel and respond.

If you immediately take it personally, try to stop yourself from responding, and potentially escalating the situation.

Then, later, do some deep reflection to determine whether your own self-esteem (e.g. feeling inferior, feeling like you are different, expecting bad behavior due to some characteristic of yours or previous experiences, etc) might be contributing to your own internal reaction, if not the entire situation itself, in thinking that it is about you.

Deedra is originally from Arkansas; an attorney in Scottsdale, Arizona; a diversity expert and motivational speaker for The Ambassador Project; and has a blog at where she shares her perspectives based on questions and experiences. Follow Deedra on Twitter @askdeedra

No comments:

Post a Comment