Ramadan: Fasting While Eating

Ramadan begins. Muslims all over the world are fasting from before sunrise to after sunset. For weeks, if not months, Muslims have been sharing the countdown and messages of anticipated joy.

The most common references are about not eating and drinking during daylight hours - to which people who are not Muslim often comment, "Not even water?!!"

No, not even water.

Islam specifically allows for those facing medical conditions that require daily medication or regular ingestion of food or drink to be excused from fasting. Pregnancy and diabetes, for example.

Islam allows for other exceptions too, such as travel and any bleeding beyond a pinprick.

Exceptions, like everything in Islam, have a purpose. Medical conditions, pregnancy, bleeding, and travel (even with the easier travel of today) can tax our bodies and weaken our immune systems. God, in his mercy, does not want us to put additional pressure on our bodies when it is already under extra stress from these conditions.

But those exceptions are only for the eating and drinking part of fasting - a small part of what Ramadan fasting is all about.  

A Life Well Lived

While living in Arkansas in my twenties, I drove with some friends to Dallas, Texas for the weekend. Outside a restaurant where we were eating, a sumo-wrestling activity was set up on the grassy knoll nearby. We went out to see what was going on. They had set up a giant mat on the ground and had huge sumo suits people could wear. The suits had helmets that looked like the heads of sumo wrestlers - complete with the hair in a bun on top. 

Another person in my group and I decided to do it. The suit and helmet were huge - both making me a giant rolly-polly. We got on the mat and started trying to wrestle. It was hilarious. Every time I would get hit, I would lose my balance and fall over. I couldn't get up wearing the huge suit. I would roll around trying to find a way to get on my feet - which I could not even see poking out of the bottom of the suit. The other person would try to help me but I was laughing so hard it was impossible. Most of the time the other person would end up falling on top of me. Then both of us would be rolling around the mat laughing til we could hardly breathe. 

And we got it all on tape. 

Unfortunately, I misplaced the tape when I moved to Arizona. It is a fond memory of mine and I wish I still had it. 

Recently I was recounting the story to my niece. I was telling the story and laughing, really enjoying the memory.

She replied, "How could you do that? It would be so embarrassing."

That made me think. 

Three Steps To A Solutions Oriented Mindset

Almost two decades ago I got married. I am originally from Arkansas and my husband is from Iraq. We met at work in Arizona. While courting, he mentioned diabetes runs in his family and his mother had died from diabetes complications. They lived in Iraq under the United Nations sanctions and insulin was considered "dual purpose" - meaning theoretically insulin could be used to make a weapon of some kind. As a result, people in Iraq were unable to get insulin and many, like my husband's mother, died as a result.

I did not know anything about diabetes at the time. No one in my family had it and I never knew anyone with it. But I had heard about the symptoms (maybe through public service announcements growing up): frequent urination, constant thirst, and cravings for sweets.

Soon after we married, I noticed my husband had these symptoms because we still worked in the same office all day. I suggested he go to the doctor and get checked out so we would know.

After a few days, he got the results back and shared them with me at the office - he had diabetes. I told him to meet with the nutritionist and then we would figure out what to do.

In the beginning, we lived with his brother and his family. When I went home from work I found everyone sad and crying. I asked my sister-in-law what happened. She replied, "You don't know?" "Know what?" I asked. "Ali has diabetes," she said. "Yes, he told me," I replied. "He's going die!" she exclaimed with tears running down her face.

Here I am... a new bride, barely a month married into a new culture, and suddenly everyone is saying my husband is going to die. Ya, this is not working for me.

I racked my brain for information. Had I ever heard diabetes was a death sentence?

After a few days, my husband met with the nutritionist who basically told him he had to eat uninteresting food for the rest of his life. I watched every night for about a week, the entire table set with plates of pasta, a variety of meats, loaves of bread, and rice... while my husband sat with a plate of salad and skinless baked chicken.  Every day.

Finally, I turned to him and said, "This is no way to live. It's better to die. There has to be another way."

Should Traditions Trump Personal Choices?

I converted to Islam in 1998. I analyzed deeply about whether I would continue to shake hands with the opposite gender before deciding to continue to do so.

The most important point being. . . it was my decision.

We live in a world where traditions, cultures, and demographics are constantly changing. People are exploring, rejecting, and adopting religious ideas, dress styles, and social interactions more than ever before.

As societies become more diverse, even without immigration, some traditions will survive and some will not. Mostly it will depend on the reasons behind the traditions and how well those ideas are articulated as valuable and relevant to an ever-evolving world.

When the Educational authorities in Switzerland recently decided to fine parents of students up to $5,000 for any student refusing to shake the hands of their teachers because two male Muslim students refused to shake hands with their female teachers, I reflected on my own evolution on this very topic.

Many people see this as yet another conflict between east and west. Some equate the refusal to shake hands with the opposite gender as a form of disrespect - indicating the refuser is following a sexist tradition of males being superior to females because, in this case, the students are male, and the affected teachers are female.

I cannot speak for these boys or their belief system, but whether Muslims shake hands with the opposite gender is not about gender equality.

It is much more common for Muslim women to not shake hands than Muslim men. If the students were girls refusing to shake hands with their male teachers, I doubt it would even have been a story. No one wants to force girls to let men touch them, not even in the west.

I am sure the Swiss had perfectly valid reasons for the tradition of students shaking the hands of their teachers at the start of each school day.

But like many traditions, I wonder if they even remember what those reasons are - or whether those reasons are still relevant today.

Leveraging Social Media: A Legacy Move

I spent almost ten years as a civil rights and community advocate in Arizona at a time when it was not easy, after September 11th. We were dependent upon networking at community events to collect emails for our email lists and press releases to get our messages out. Half the time we were not sure if people even opened the emails and all our hopes hinged on the mainstream media responding to our press releases - which was unpredictable. 

I was successful at getting the attention of the local as well as some national and international media. I built a solid reputation and name recognition among local communities. 

When I opened up my law firm, there was a lot of buzz around using social media to engage clients and keep companies at "top of mind." I dabbled a bit in social media for my law firm but never invested much time in it. Referrals alone have always been the driving force of my law firm's success.  I leveraged the reputation I gained as a community advocate and I have never received one client from my website or social media. 

But I firmly believe in social media. The power of social media is extraordinary. The possibilities for getting messages out on social media are limitless. 

If we had had social media as a communication forum during my advocacy years, we could have been infinitely more effective. 

Today, I will not do business with a person or business that does not have a minimum online presence - a website or LinkedIn. First, if a person or business does not have a website or LinkedIn, how do I know they are legitimate? Second, if they do not have an online presence, I know they are not living in the present reality. Why would I give my money to someone who is not living in the present and is obviously unable to recognize the future?

I blog my ideas, opinions, and tips about life and work. I then share my blog on social media such as Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter. I am still learning Instagram but I'm getting better.  I have readers all over the world, people who would never have found me without social media. People who send me messages of how my blogs have changed their ideas around certain topics, or even just made them think, and even those who found my writing validating because they didn't know others shared their ideas. 

I also share my travels and experiences on social media - these are legacy moves. People can live vicariously through others, be inspired to do more and see more - find out what is in the world and create a desire to experience it. Sharing what I do and see only documents my legacy - my real legacy is inspiring others. 

Social Media Is About Communication

I joined Facebook several years ago. At first, I just shared other people's messages and occasionally made nice comments. I did not share anything personal and never made controversial comments.